You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on ... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer . I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did y! ou recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W." COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch mov! ies on the Internet? ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One. COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: If it's a long movie, I also want to watch reels 2, 3 and 4.Can I watch them? ABBOTT: Of course. COSTELLO: Great! With what? ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? ABBOTT: You click the blue "1." COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOTT: The blue "1." COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue W? ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows!" ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world. COSTELLO: It is? ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. COSTELLO: And that word is real one? ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of Office. COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO:! Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! [A few days later] ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START."
My sound hasn't worked since I had the new motherboard fitted. The supplier kept insisting that I simply needed to download new drivers. My son and daughter both gave it the benefit of their, not insignificant combined expertise to no avail. I decided that I could simply fit a new sound card and had a very similar conversation in a leading pc store. She nearly fell through the floor when I said that I was going to fit the card and called another technician who confirmed that what I was going to do was correct. Still doesn't work though!!!!!
I grew up with A&C, Laural and Hardy, the silent greats etc - all thanks to the morning TV programmes during my school holidays. But my favourite is still Will Hay. I have most of his films on DVD and they get put on every so often as a pick-me-up. And blimey Keith, and no offence meant, but you put someone half your age to shame with your computer know how. OK, I think understood most of your post but would I be so adapt at customising my own computer? Hell no. I have had enough problems just getting my new standard, ready-to-go, tower working. I have never been a fan of computers except as a tool. When I went to university in the late 1980s, for the first three years I wrote all my reports by hand. In my final year, when we were ordered to type everything, our choice was limited to WordPerfect, with the gloriously psychodelic blue screen. And the golf ball printer that could be heard half a mile away. But the biggest horror was the statistics package that we had to learn. The programme is still used by social scientists, but when I tell contemporary users that we had to learn to code every entry via DOS, they look at me in horror, and the sort of sympathy normally reserved for those who have declared that they are an orphan
Zx 81 Hi Jerome, Memories is the right word for it. I can remember spending ages feeding in basic to make a matchstick man walk across the screen, my first and only attempt at animation !. Thought it was fantastic at the time, " good heavens what will we not be able to do with comuters in the future!!!!!" Seems so long ago! Cheers Keith
Thank you for the email Keith. I shall be having a look in a few minutes. I can manage most programs....it's the hardware that does my head in. My first computer was a Commodore Vic 20, with the screeching tape for programs, and an addiction for Frogger. At school the brought in some Acorn BBC computers, and I could get my name continually scrolling
Yeah, the old Vic20 with the cartridges that were a b*****d to get in and out. My old man spent ages programming stuff in from magazines for crappy free games. Posh people had the 64.
OMG I'd completely forgotten all about the copying of programmes from magazines!!! I think I only ever got one to work.
So did my dad, I think mate. Just spotted this while having a look. I played this to death. http://www.ntrautanen.fi/computers/commodore/images/vic/gorf.jpg
Another one Vic 20 game I remember - Blitz (though I think this screenshot maybe from a modern emulator)
My school and a mate had the BBC Acorn. I always remember he had a text adventure game, it was something to do with the devil. I had a text adventure for the Vic 20 as well but can't remember the name of it. List of Vic 20 games. List of Commodore VIC-20 games - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I remember text only adventure games from uni (1989 onwards) when only the "geeks" frequented the computer labs when not really necessary The same people who played D&D!!
